This post is dedicated to the proud owner of the second best set of boobs on the Food Network.
Name: Sandra Lee. Startlingly similar to Sarah Lee, who has a bevy of fully pre-made foods that Sandra Lee might encourage you to buy. On her cooking show. More on that later.
Age: Unknown
Age of her boobs: Perpetually 23
Signature Dish: Chicken and dumplings, which features a "whole, store-bought roast chicken." This woman's cooking show actually tells you to go buy stuff that's already been cooked. Ingenious, really.
Favorite Ingredient: Onion Soup Mix
Eyebrows She Emulates: Newborn babies.
Signature Tablescape: A repulsive, functionless, Christmas-themed nightmare that becomes increasingly more dangerous with every sugary, vodka-y, Aunt Sandy Cocktail she ingests.
Signature Cocktail: Strawberry Cream Martini (as always, heavy on the vodka, and heavy on the sugar-laden bullshit).
My lips to her boobs.
Name: Sandra Lee. Startlingly similar to Sarah Lee, who has a bevy of fully pre-made foods that Sandra Lee might encourage you to buy. On her cooking show. More on that later.
Age: Unknown
Age of her boobs: Perpetually 23
Signature Dish: Chicken and dumplings, which features a "whole, store-bought roast chicken." This woman's cooking show actually tells you to go buy stuff that's already been cooked. Ingenious, really.
Favorite Ingredient: Onion Soup Mix
Eyebrows She Emulates: Newborn babies.
Signature Tablescape: A repulsive, functionless, Christmas-themed nightmare that becomes increasingly more dangerous with every sugary, vodka-y, Aunt Sandy Cocktail she ingests.
Signature Cocktail: Strawberry Cream Martini (as always, heavy on the vodka, and heavy on the sugar-laden bullshit).
My lips to her boobs.
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