Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Douchebaggery Unlimited

This post is dedicated to the Food Network host I love to hate the most.

Name: Guy Fieri (that's pronounced "fee Eddy," and it rhymes with spaghetti)
Age: Too old to look like this, a look he calls "kulinary gangsta." With a "k."

Signature Recipe: Something he brought home in a doggy bag from TGI Friday's.

Hairstyle He Emulates: Anne Burrell because, yeah. She looks terrific.

Kitchen Utensil Line: "Knuckle Sandwich Knives" (Note the douche-y tattoo art on the blades)

Signature Cocktail: The Cabo Wabo Cocktail which features tequila, mangoes, and chili powder. Try chasing it with some muskrat piss.

My lips to yours, but not if you've been drinking one of Guy's cocktails.

1 comment:

  1. He's entertaining (sometimes) and I've actually been to a couple restaurants after seeing them on his show - including one in Baltimore (Cap'n Crunch French Toast at Blue Moon Cafe is pretty incredible).

    However, after going to Johnny Garlic's last week - one of his restaurants in Santa Rosa, CA - I'm less than thrilled. I even tried the "signature" Cajun Chicken Fettuccine, and would only rate it about a solid 'C', maybe a C+. Don't get me wrong, I've had far worse, and I know Guy himself is not back in the kitchen, but it left a bit to be desired. And at around $80 for two people not including gratuity, I probably wouldn't go back.