Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Not to Beat a Dead Horse but...

... I just wanted to follow up on my last post. The "Meet Me" function at plentyoffish.com, as I previously noted, is intended to "dramatically improve" my dating matches. Last time, we took a look at the very first person about whom they offered me the question, "do you want to meet her?" Didn't turn out so hot. 

Now the relationship wizards at the finest dating site zero dollars can buy a subscription to have alerted me that someone out there (and by "out there" I mean in a DIFFERENT F-ING STATE) saw a certain someone's profile, checked the "Yes" box next to that certain someone's name, and wants to meet yours truly! Well that sure didn't take long, plentyoffish.com! Let's see who the lucky, inquisitive lil' hottie is, shall we?

JACKPOT!

Blue eyes, butterflies and Bingo-wings: these are a few of my favorite things!


Blue___2010 is a buxom out of towner who wants to get to know me, of all people. ME! Well it's good that one of the two things she lists as her interests is "texting," because we'll need good texting skills being that we live NOWHERE NEAR EACH OTHER. Plentyoffish.com has this dating thing down to a science, don't they? 

Now, gentle readers, I am sure you are wondering, what could this lovely, vivacious, young debutante possibly list as her other interest? I mean, she digs texting, what else could there possibly be? Well take one good look at the picture above and I'll bet you'll figure it out on your own. Got it yet? That's right! It's "going to the gym!" And as you can see, it's working! 

Now that I know she's both interesting AND fit, I'm more inclined to start a long distance relationship. Let's see how she describes herself, shall we? She lists her body type as "a few extra pounds," but honestly, you can barely tell. She says she's "a fun loving country girl" and the mother of a five year old boy. She likes swimming, bowling, and cookouts, and she can't stand liars. An avid Steeler's fan, she says she is also "working on my figure." If she works any harder she might explode! You know, from all the exercise. 

However she is not looking for someone who "plays games," which for me, is kind of a deal breaker. I love playing games. Games like, "Go for a Walk Once in Your Life" and "Put the Goddam Cheeseburger Down." Sorry, Blue___2010. I guess I'm a bit too playful for you. 

My lips to yours.


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