Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Great Roommate Search

So I've been looking for roommates and yesterday I finally posted on craigslist being that I don't seem to know anyone in flux as far as their living situation goes.

The responses I've had are hilarious. These are excerpts from actual responses to my craigslist post from yesterday:

"Hi, my name is Joe R@#$%^a"

I am currently employed at *&^% in C@#$%^&*&e."

So far, so good.

"I'm 48, keep to myself. I work out at the gym and like to check out karaoke nights."

Excellent. I was really worried you'd be out of shape and afraid to sing in public. When I think of a roommate, I think of someone pumping iron and belting out some Luther Vandross. Joe, you sound like the perfect candidate to me.

The next fellow sounded like a good match. Jay, 21 years old, a store manager at Marley Station Mall. He even offered 3 months of rent up front, adding "money isn't a problem here." Good to know!

He then follows it up with this nice little tidbit. "I do have a boyfriend, too, who is over most of the time." Perfect! Lots of gay sex is just what this place needs to liven things up a little bit! Not to mention getting TWO roommates for the price of one! Way to sell yourself, Jay!

So far, the best candidate has been a Greek person (not sure which gender) named Rust who lives in Connecticut, and would "love to live with clean people, caring responsible, neat type." I've had experiences with Greek neat-freaks before and it can be a frightening experience unless you enjoy being chastized on a regular basis for leaving dishes in the sink or not acknowledging on a regular basis that Greece is the greatest country in the history of the world without whom humans would have never evolved into bipeds.

And so the search continues as will my ridicule of the loonies that come my way.

And as always...

My lips to yours.


  1. Funniest thing I've read on the internet in a long while. That's what you get when you cast the wide net. Good luck in finding a roommate, but in the meantime, this is like the open week of an American Idol season where you get to laugh at all the people who think they have talent.

  2. Ha, sounds like a good time. Wish you had a house in the DC area because I was recently on the hunt for a new place to live. Then again, 2 Zach Galafiniakas look-a-likes in a house might make weird things happen. We'd only eat pastrami and mayonaisse too.

  3. I would have no problem with the all pastrami-mayo diet. It would eliminate my bread and vegetable budget.