I'm out of shape these days. I know this comes as a shock to many of you (and by many, I mean the 8 of you who read this) but I'm not talking about my gut or my ability to run for 30 seconds and keel over in intense pain (it's a gift).
I haven't worked in a long time. Working is not easy. I suppose that's why they call it work. I'm not used to it. I work for 6 hours at Ye Olde Lube Shoppe then it's off to wrestling practice until 5:30 or so. At this point, I'm plum tuckered out! It's not yet 9pm and here I am struggling to keep my eyelids open. I'm out of shape.
I never thought of myself as one who would get old and tired. One who prefers nights in to nights out. I thought I'd still be having a ball.
It's strange how my idea of what "having a ball" is has changed. I have a ball falling asleep on my couch, watching astronomy TV shows. (Seriously, check out The Universe on The History Channel. It's a fascinating little bedtime story, and there's like three seasons of it.) I have a ball sitting around a fireplace with my friends. I have a ball NOT having a ball.
I sort of dread going out places these days. It's taxing. It's taxing on the wallet but also on the energy reserves. Most places are too loud. This is fine if you're going to see live music, but if you're out for a night with your friends, why on earth would you want to spend that time shouting at one another because Lady Gaga is deafeningly loud? This is tiring, not to mention nauseating.
Meeting people for me, these days, is also tiresome. Getting to know you, small talk, "gee those are interesting socks," etc. is just draining. And as I have recently become single again, the fact that this is going to soon be my reality is pretty glaring. I'm old, I'm tired, and I'm not looking forward to looking for someone. I'm fine with being single, but you know and I know that that feeling won't last.
So I must endure. I'll get back into the swing of things, the dating game, "the hunt," as it were.
But first I'll take a long nap.
My lips to yours.